Thursday, May 30, 2013

singing of myself

via Moya Preshovic*

Dr. Juvenal Urbino¹ proposes his friendship by way of music; I propose mine by way of books and stories. I find universal truths in the books I read, and it's my way of understanding the world and relating to others. I will tell you stories about my memories and my dreams and what happened to me last week. I tell myself stories of who I want to be, and those stories are how I build my identity.²

One of the stories I told myself a few years ago goes like this:

There is a person who I know of but do not know personally although I wish I did. She's thin and attractive, smart and funny, and doesn't take any shit from anyone.  She's fierce and sharp and devastating.  She's the woman I want to be. Sometimes, I feel like I become her.  When I get things right, when I'm dressed in a great outfit. She's me at my best. Then there are the others. The ones who I am when I'm at my worst and when I'm mediocre and when I'm in between all the extremes. Sometimes I see a glimmer of her, although she's always there in my head, and sometimes, I have to remember that I'm not her. She's who I am in my mind, she's the real me. Now I just have to set her free.³

Since then, the story has changed. This is the intermission. 

1. From Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
2.."...Everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story." from Patrick Rothfuss's book The Name of the Wind.
3."She decided to start living the life she'd imagined." from Kobi Yamada's book "She."
*sourced as best I could find. Tumblrs give the English major in me fits when it comes to crediting.